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Personal Financing Planner > Personal Finance > Seven steps to changing your relationship with money
Personal Finance

Seven steps to changing your relationship with money

June 1, 2025 17 Min Read
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17 Min Read
Transforming Your Relationship With Money
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Table of Contents

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    • What is the unhealthy relationship with money?
    • What does a healthy relationship with money look like?
  • Steps to establish a healthy relationship
    • 1. Look honestly at your current relationship
      • What is your relationship with your parents’ money?
      • Do you mimic the money relationships of people in your social circle?
      • How would you explain your current relationship with money?
    • 2. Identify how you want to have a new relationship
    • 3. Establish the intention or goal for your relationship
    • 4. Start setting up the foundation for this new relationship
    • 5. Don’t forget to give yourself grace
      • Please forgive your past money mistakes
      • Try it until you get it right
    • 6. Seek professional guidance
    • 7. Celebrate your new relationship
  • How to avoid having an unhealthy relationship with money
    • Avoid bad money habits by creating new money habits
    • Pay attention to your thoughts and your beliefs about money
    • Spend time with people who support a healthy relationship with money
    • Remove things in your life that don’t support healthy relationships
  • “Relationship with Money” Quote: How and How to Use them
  • Changing your relationship with money is achievable

Changing your relationship with money can affect almost every part of your life. This is because the relationship with money exceeds receiving your salary or paying your bill. It’s about how you think and feel about money, and how those thoughts and feelings contribute to how you spend your money.

Change the relationship with money

There are also a variety of money traits to make your relationship with money unique. From savings to people who don’t want to think about consumers or money at all, there’s everything.

Anyway, your relationship with money is important.

That said, this article explains how to change your relationship with money by understanding your current relationship, setting the goals and intentions of the relationship you want, and taking steps to establish a healthy relationship with money.

Whether you notice it or not, you already have a relationship with money. This relationship with money influenced your career choices, created certain spending habits, and even influenced where you ate for dinner.

This is why a healthy relationship with money is important because it has a positive impact on your interaction with money.

Having a healthy relationship with your money means understanding how money works. It means using your money to help you stay healthy, live a life less stressful, and invest in what supports you in the long run. Positive relationships lead to financial freedom and health.

That being said, let’s explore both the unhealthy relationship with money and the healthy relationship with each of them.

What is the unhealthy relationship with money?

Having an unhealthy relationship with money often leads to stressful lives due to money choices.

This would look like this:

  • Impulse Shopping
  • Make the most of your credit card
  • Avoid managing your finances
  • Refusing to talk about money or seek financial support
  • Show or dislike anger towards financially safe people
  • I’m afraid to spend money on essentials too

This poor relationship with money also affects other relationships in your life.

For example, finances are a major cause of divorce for many people and can lead to family money conflicts.

What does a healthy relationship with money look like?

When you have a healthy relationship with money, everything seems to fall on the spot. The sun shines brightly, the birds sing a little louder, and are more grateful for life as they are not worried about money.

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A healthy relationship with money includes:

  • Have a plan or budget for your money
  • Feel good about the money you earn
  • There are strong savings plans or emergency funds
  • Debt is free or aggressively pay off your debts
  • Being able to buy without feeling guilty

If there is a relationship with money that can use any improvement, there is more to change the relationship with money to something healthy and sustainable.

Steps to establish a healthy relationship

It is important to know that changing your relationship with money takes time. Unfortunately, there is no shortcut to learning false beliefs about money and creating better habits. Still, with a little time and effort, you start to see the difference.

Here are some important steps to start a conversion:

1. Look honestly at your current relationship

The first step is to make a truly honest assessment, not judge your current relationship with money. Remember, wherever your relationship is, it doesn’t make you a good person or a bad person.

To understand your relationship, ask yourself the following questions –

  • What are my thoughts on money? Are they positive or negative?
  • How did you move forward with your money last year?

Plus, there are some detailed questions that will help you change your relationship with money.

What is your relationship with your parents’ money?

How you grew up plays a big role in how you interact with money. Even if your parents weren’t teaching you about money, you still learned through observing how they spoke and spent their money.

If your parents are very frugal and only spend their money on what they need, you may have this same or opposite relationship.

The opposite is a relationship where you spend too much money because you didn’t have any particular luxury as a child.

Do you mimic the money relationships of people in your social circle?

The person you socialize will affect your relationship with money.

If your social group complains about money like a plague, your actions and thoughts begin to reflect those same negative beliefs. This can make you feel optimistic and unpractical about money.

Your influence circle has a greater influence than you notice.

How would you explain your current relationship with money?

Reflecting your current relationship is not an arbitrary whether you are good or bad for money. Looking back at your current relationship, try explaining it in one or two non-judgmental statements. for example:

  • My relationship with money is something I often worry about.
  • In relation to my current money, I’m spending too much.

With solid understanding and statements, you can take the next step to change your relationship with money.

2. Identify how you want to have a new relationship

Now is the time to leave the past and focus on the future. What do you want to have with money?

Do you want to hold your relationship accountable while having fun? For example, you can spend money on building savings, not just having fun.

When identifying this relationship, try focusing on how this relationship looks in your life. How will this new relationship make your life, behavior and thoughts different?

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How do you feel about this new relationship?

A simple place to start is to think about your value and make sure your relationship with money matches them.

3. Establish the intention or goal for your relationship

Now it’s time to focus on your new, improved relationship and create your intentions and goals.

To do this, consider what outcomes are required for the new relationship.

Want to increase your savings? Are you confident in making more money? Or do you want to pay off your debt?

Having an intention or intended outcome will help you stay focused on building your new relationship. It will help you create new routines that will help you change your habits and achieve this new goal.

Some examples of financial goals are:

  • Positive habits like paying yourself first
  • I live under your means
  • Create a budget or spending plan that matches your value
Change the relationship with money

4. Start setting up the foundation for this new relationship

This is when you start practicing the procedure. When you think about the foundations of a house, it is the strongest part. What is the strongest part of your new relationship?

The easiest way to start building this foundation is through education. Understanding how money works, how it works, and how it is, helps you change the relationship with money.

Fortunately, Clever Girl Finance offers over 30 free educational courses to help build this foundation.

5. Don’t forget to give yourself grace

It is important to remember that you have had this negative relationship for years. As long as you don’t change things overnight, it’s fine.

The next time you think about your struggles, try these techniques to give yourself grace.

Please forgive your past money mistakes

You are not alone, as even some of the wealthiest people have made mistakes with money. Instead of living in mistakes, forgive yourself and allow yourself to learn from unfortunate circumstances.

Try it until you get it right

Even if you’re planning a budget for the first time or trying to speak positively about money, you won’t be able to get everything right in your first attempt. Once you’ve returned to your old habits, make a note and ask yourself what happens next time.

6. Seek professional guidance

Look at the happy married couple. The key to many positive relationships is marriage counseling. As with money, sometimes you need a little outside help.

And when you seek help from a financial professional, they can guide you to make a better decision with your money.

Experts can help you create a plan for your money and make you feel good with your money.

7. Celebrate your new relationship

We often celebrate other relationships in our lives, such as new romantic partners, new jobs, becoming parents. Would you like to celebrate a new relationship with money? Relationships that really affect all the other relationships we have in life.

Here’s how to celebrate:

  • Have a dance party at your home
  • Please rest in the afternoon
  • Give yourself a favorite dessert
  • Check out your favorite outdoor spaces

How to avoid having an unhealthy relationship with money

Now that you know about turning your relationship with money into something healthy, let’s keep this relationship going. Like a romantic relationship, you will never return to your lazy, unthankful partner.

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Here’s how to get away from the cycle:

Avoid bad money habits by creating new money habits

It is always difficult to break bad habits. Instead of using energy to change bad habits, focus on creating new, better habits.

Better money habits can seem to automate your savings, so you don’t wait until you spend it to save most of your pay. Another new habit to incorporate is money dates.

Money dates are spending a certain amount of time to overcome your finances. The key to this is to make it fun.

You can get together with friends and share a bottle of wine while talking about taxes. You can wear music and light candles while checking your budget.

The goal is to create habits around fun and easy money. So I don’t think much about doing them.

Pay attention to your thoughts and your beliefs about money

Do you think money is bad? Do you think it’s bad for people who have a lot of money? If you think money is a bad thing, try a new perspective.

Start looking at profits you can make with money. When money is in the hands of people with good intentions, it can provide shelter, food, resources. Money can support you in getting what you need.

When you start to change your mind about using money, you realize that money is a tool and have the power to use the method you want.

Spend time with people who support a healthy relationship with money

Imagine spending most of your time with a colleague complaining about your work. You then start complaining about your job and create negative feelings about your job. The same can apply to money.

Spend time with people talking about growing savings and starting side hustles, allowing them to become financially safe. Think about the people in your life who are happy and working in an environment where they enjoy themselves.

They are often people who have a positive relationship with money and can support you while you change your relationship with money.

Remove things in your life that don’t support healthy relationships

Just like creating new habits, try to eliminate in your life that doesn’t support a healthy relationship with money.

This appears to switch from credit cards to cash use. They also allow you to move away from social media so you won’t be seduced by influencers trying to convince you to make a particular purchase.

Even limiting your TV viewing can help you change your relationship with money by freeing you from the seduction of consumerism.

“Relationship with Money” Quote: How and How to Use them

If you need a little support when it comes to improving your relationship with money, it has to do with money quotes to help you get on the right path.

You can read these relationships daily with money quotes, read them yourself, and write them down frequently to maintain a good mindset.

“Money is a tool. It takes you where you want, but it doesn’t replace you as a driver.” – In the Land

This relationship with money quotes reminds you that you are in charge of your money. Don’t let your finances take charge of you.

“Money doesn’t buy you happiness, but a lack of money certainly buys your misery.” – Daniel Kahneman

This quote reminds us that money is not a source of happiness, but it is important to living a sustainable life. Always seek a balance between having the right amount to serve your needs and helping you do what makes you happy.

“Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” – Henry David Thoreau

This quote reminds us that wealth isn’t merely rich. It’s about using the best things in your life and making the most of your life.

Changing your relationship with money is achievable

These steps allow you to create relationships with healthy, supportive and prosperous money. Remember that this conversion takes time.

By understanding your current relationship as money and starting with the simple step of setting your intentions of how you want your relationship to be, you are setting yourself for great change. It is important to stick to your goals, seek professional help if necessary, and give yourself grace.

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